Hammer-philia

I don't know if it is stupid of me to fall for you
over e-mail, but I can't help it.  I'm trying not to,
but I can't help it.  But I'm worried that I will
never be able to see you or know you properly.
.....
I want to know how to love you, I hope
it isn't impossible.


And then, I wrote back the following:

i want to meet you, if only to acknowledge our connection in reality. 
 
 and that can happen, quite easily in fact.


and what if you're not an actual human being?   well your power and
your presence have moved me and changed me, and for that I am grateful.
But i think that you are a real human being, at least I could bet on
it.....


I feel so silly and mushy and moved and like I haven't felt in a long time. I decided to be bold, and make an offer to meet him in reality.
I am sure that so many of us have taken trips based on "mere" internet connections before. And they can be quite intense, can't they?

Little Hammer met Octy over the net. He lived in Paris and she was volleying between Phoenix and Massachussetts. Somehow now they're together, living together in Berkeley.

So it's not impossible.

But.... I am trying now to have faith in what I feel and in the truth. And that takes very little "trying" indeed. All it takes is sweeping away the fear that accumulates on your positive feelings like dust. It's easy to swipe it off.

I am elated but I am also insaaaaane, I know it!

# posted by Jessica @ 19.6.06