Hammer-philia

D used to stalk me for years, but now he doesn't any more. I'm sure he still looks at this blog occasionally though. Yesterday he mentioned that he has a girlfriend. How weird! I wonder what she's like but I truly don't want to know. D & I used to be soulmates. We had plans for the future. I'm sure that he will marry before me though. I guess by now he has finally told his parents that we broke up. He hid it from them for 2 years after it happened. How foolish....

Today I will go to the library and work on my paper.And it's also the first day of class.

"I exist. It's sweet, so sweet, so slow. And light: you'd think it floated all by itself. It stirs. It brushes by me, melts and vanishes. Gently, gently. There is bubbling water in my throat, it caresses me- and now it comes up again into my mouth. For ever I shall have a little pool of whitish water in my mouth - lying low - grazing my tongue. And this pool is still me. And the tongue. And the throat is me."

I usually don't begin my entries with Sartre quotes, but there's nothing that really epitomizes these days like the sentences from Nausea. I went to my parents' home for a week, and came back sick on the airplane. I have 4 important papers pending of which I cannot begin. It is saturday night and I am in the library. I have read all of 3 pages in the 4 hours i have been here. WHat's going on!? I need some motivation back.