Hammer-philia

In my last post---written in a hurry, as is my tendency these days--Mr. Mystic, Dan, and Flash all had important pressing questions. This posting is meant to clarify those questions, and perhaps once people have a better understanding of me, they can offer more informed advice and words of wisdom. (I like advice and words of wisdom these days.)

Dan asked how I met these fellows?
The answer? An online dating service. I had met the Arch and Timesy thru the same service. But as we know, neither of those blokes was ideal, but in the online world, they were the creme de la creme. I was feeling anxious yesterday about Mohawk. The truth of the matter is (and this is to answer Mr. Flashy's question), I'm sure that Mohawk likes me and all. I do definitely like him. But, I feel that he is a little too meek and aloof. (Ex: I have invited him out to 3 or 4 different things at this point, and he has never invited me anywhere. Although I must say, he easily agrees and says yes whenever I ask him out.) In regards to Mohawk: HAMMER.....IS.....TIRED...... Tired of waiting. Too bad becuase we had a great Boggle game the other night (him: 185, me: 45). We also had great sex that night, and he slept over in a wonderfully loving way. (Too much info? Sorry.... this is my blog....). I think he's a wonderful person, perfectly handsome, intriguing to a fault, smart and unique--a total weirdo in all the right ways.....

Ugh! Why am I getting teary as I write this? I fell for him, you guys... I fell hard. I want to see him more than once or twice a week... the same conundrum I had with Sing-Man. What the hell happened? Perhaps people are just busy in New York and I need to learn patience. But when it's there, it's there.... right?

Needless to say, anxious pinings and disappointments regarding Mohawk led me to sign up for the online thing again. An "investment" of $34.99 to read lots of messages from a bunch of boring pricks, or guys that call me "cutie", or balding jerks looking to get laid. I found two guys on the site yesterday who I thought were cool. Boy! Can those internet profiles be deceptive! I'm instituting a new policy: Must speak on the phone before we meet. I wouldn't have met up with either of yesterday's dudes if I had heard their voices.

So, finally, we get to the title question: "What am I looking for?"
If I were to abstract the characteristics (which is near impossible, because people dont' come in abstractions...), I would say I am looking for someone who I find very attractive--who intrigues me in one way or another. That's the first thing that I would notice about someone--and the crucial point to take it further or not. All of the guys you've heard about on this blog who I've actually dated have had something that triggers that feeling in me.
Sing-Man, Mohawk, Wizard, Timesy, even the Arch.... Physical attraction is also very important for first meeting someone.

Then, once those things are taken care of, I would say, someone caring who sees something special in me. Someone chivalrous or polite who isn't too afraid to take care of me. (You'd be surprised how common this is among young men. THere's a reason I tend to like older guys. The young ones think they have to play some weird game, some game at being "chums." It sucks.)

After that, I guess it's just to see what happens. Does he want to see me as much as I want to see him? Does he want to spend the night together when at all possible? Does he miss me and does he want to tell me his secrets and about his work and all about his longings etc?

What do I want? To become close with someone else. To fall in love. yes, that's what I want....