Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Wiz email, follies and then some
(as he usually does when i write this)
I am at school, it's 1:15, and I have been hard at work for a long time. My cellpohone died.
I wrote:
no bars left
Damnit! I just wrote you a long email and then it got lost!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll try to give you a call later, if i can get it to work.
working hard and well, although i'm in "self-punishing" mode.
love g*
He calls me a stupid name that starts with a "g".
Then, this is the response:
I am at school, it's 1:15, and I have been hard at work for a long time. My cellpohone died.
I wrote:
no bars left
Damnit! I just wrote you a long email and then it got lost!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll try to give you a call later, if i can get it to work.
working hard and well, although i'm in "self-punishing" mode.
love g*
He calls me a stupid name that starts with a "g".
Then, this is the response:
Why does this keep happening to you at columbia? You spending time with somebody out there?
The last time at columbia you had a 12-hr. cutoff, you forgot to tell me you had the year's end party with BigTimeProf's class, AND also your phone died that time. Now your phone dies again AND you are in "self-punishing" mode, plus you were saying 3 in the morning before returning.
I know you talk about self-punishing but that really is not self-punishing because it punishes both of us. Your idea is wrong in the context of relationship. I assume you don't have an interest in punishing me. Plus I don't see how breaking off all communication serves anything.
I wrote you a textino, moments before reading this e-mail, that I am having a funny feeling about this.
Contrary to what you say here, you won't call me this evening because it is already past midnight, even though there are payphones everywhere.
I do have a funny feeling. You don't always tell me what you do, and I know you don't always tell me what you already know you intend to do. But this is beginning to look a bit funky. You already knew you had fired PPP since summer, you just didn't tell him until very recently.
I will ask you not to repeat the phrase "you don't understand" when I ask you anything about anything and all you say is "work". There's something a bit off about this.
Turning the situation around, you'd certainly be wondering about me if I were doing this. Just the other day you said, come on, Wiz, are you seeing TangoGirl? And I said NO, I am going to the show with Roomie and parents. Why would you take for granted that I was seeing TangoGirl? You even went on a riff with "hey, that's okay by me if you want to see her, go ahead..." etc. Then later on you trashed her.
You are flippant with me like that because I have been so loyal to you. You wouldn't be disrespectful like that if you were of more considerate manner, and also if you didn't always assume that my loyalty and patience have no limits. They do.
By your diversionary tactics of putting ME on the spot for being uneasy with you at such times, and by creating a huge disturbance about THAT, you sneak out of being straight. It IS odd that your phone dies at columbia, and that you are always out late there, the last time, it turned out, not at work but at a bar.
# posted by Jessica @ 20.12.05 
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]