Hammer-philia

I just met the most incredible girl. She is 15, and from the Ukraine. I envy her confidence and her independence, and the fresh view she has on life. I wonder how to get in touch with that part of me? I really want to be more carefree, and out for fun. Getting caught up as someone else's "dream girl" isn't fun, if he's not my dream guy. I often wonder how i can just be me, sans dude? Who can I count on for fun in new york? How can I accomplish my work and have fun too? How can I please myself, myself, yes, myself? These are all questions in my mind.